BBG Watch Commentary
In the category of weird government management news, here is one from the dysfunctional Broadcasting Board of Governors (BBG), a federal agency at the bottom of employee satisfaction ratings:
Broadcasting Board of Governors
Valentine’s Poetry Contest
Greetings to one and all! As you know each year we celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14, which is less than two weeks away. The Funfest team would like to invite you to participate in a Valentine’s Day Poetry Contest. We will be accepting not only the traditional love poems usually given to a significant other (wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.) but it can be for the love of a pet, sports, the Arts, your job or anything you feel passionate about. There will be three judges, not actively connected with Funfest making the decisions as to the top three poems collected. They will not see the names of the authors so that we can preclude any unintentional bias.
Also we will have a little game called name that love song on the day of the reading. Please submit all poems via email to Funfest@bbg.gov by close of business day, Wednesday – February 10th, 2016. All we ask is that you remain mindful of the setting and keep it clean. The winners will received our immense gratitude for their literary flair as well as a box of fine chocolate candy or a bottle of sparkling wine. The event will be held on February 17th, in the Briefing Room (1528A) at 2:00pm. Please submit your poems and please join us for this fun event.
Treating BBG journalists like little children has been a constant theme of BBG management for years. No wonder, Employee morale is low.
Perhaps by mistake, the following poems have been submitted to BBG Watch by BBG staffers.
On the taxpayer’s dime
On February 17th at 2pm at VOA
In lovely, enchanting Room 1528A
We’ll all gather to hear
Poems and goofy love songs
Composed on federal time
Just one of many agency wrongs
We’ll get candy and such
Maybe a bottle of sparkling wine
For composing doggerel
On the taxpayer’s dime
You want poems about pets,
sports, the arts and our job
Special advisors have time
They’re task-less, that mob
Will the judges of the poems
Work on VOA time?
Is that what they’re paid for
To judge silly little rhymes?
Boy are you clueless, pal
To improve our morale,
We should write poems about Cupid?
This proves what we suspected:
Boy are you stupid
Who cares about morale
When we can write poems?
Things like this make me wonder:
What’s under your domes?
Spend work time on poems
Praising St. Valentine?
I think not, and here’s why:
We’re on the federal dime
So your big idea
to improve our morale
Is to have us write poems?
Boy are you clueless, pal
You decided that a poetry contest
Would improve our morale
Proves to me as a manager
You’re guilty of practice-mal
Dead wrong, pal
I love VOA
This much is true
Its the leaders I hate
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Why sponsor a poetry contest
When there’s real morale work to do?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
A poetry contest? Hah!
Proves you don’t know what to do
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sponsoring a poetry contest
Makes me lose confidence in you
I love VOA
This much is true
Its the leaders I hate
They really stink. Pfew!
VOA’s mission is important,
The work delightful
But the agency’s senior leaders?
One word: frightful
(…)
You think a poetry contest
Will increase our morale?
You’re wrong about that,
Dead wrong, pal